When All You Wanted, Was To Be Wanted

I've been through many different kinds of losses. I've been left by choice, by tragedy and I've left. Every single loss is different, even though it feels like the same kind of pain. For me, one of the hardest losses of all was when I would love people that didn't end up loving me back. Sometimes not as much, or not at all. Unrequited love has been one of the major themes in my life so far, and I'm a big believer in paying attention to themes. Themes are the big lessons you're here to learn. So let me share with you, the wisdom I've learned so far in terms of unrequited love.

The common theme in unrequited love is always you, but not in the way that you think. In every relationship that I was disappointed in, I ended up looking back on it years later and understanding why it didn't work. I even became grateful that it didn't work out. The more I got to know myself, and became who I was truly meant to be, the more I let go of these people that I finally saw were just not suited to who I was becoming. Here's the hard truth when someone you love leaves you.. it just wasn't right, or even for right now. Maybe one of you felt it before the other, and it sucks to be that person who can't let go, but it happens. It's never you who is the problem, or the other person; it's who you're meant to be that is, both of you.

After I finally realized this, the journey I thought I was on suddenly changed. I wasn't just trying to find the person who would finally love me the way I deserved to be loved, I was on a journey to find a way to love myself. That comes first. It sounds cheesy, but loving yourself really is the key. I used to think that when I loved myself, everything would be fixed, and everyone would start to love and respect me because of that. But that's not what loving myself has shown me. Not everyone will approve of you and your choices, but loving yourself is the magic potion that can set you free. The more I started to be my own support and guidance, the quicker I bounced back when someone kicked me down. My skin really did start to thicken. And the more I turned these people away, the more I had room in my life to meet the ones who wouldn't.

So, put yourself in the shoes of your best friend. Talk to yourself the way you would to them. Build yourself up when someone tears you down. Keep discovering who you are, and be passionate about that. The most important person in your life that should want you, is you.