I bet that when you look back at your life, you can find moments where you were taking care of someone. Maybe your best friend got dumped by her first love and you rubbed her back while she cried herself to sleep. Maybe your mom was sick and you brought her chicken soup. Maybe your pet needed surgery and you stayed by their side until they left for the operating room. It seems so natural to be there for the ones we love, but not so much for ourselves.
For a long time, I hated the idea of "self care". I kept seeing the term self care thrown around by influencers and it just felt like a mainstream trap. How would pampering myself help with my problems or my mental health? But I realize now that my outlook on self care just needed a shift. Sometimes it can seem unfair when you have to be your own rock in life. But life has it's many ups and downs, and I want you to get into the habit of being as passionate about taking care of yourself as you would your favourite person.
I have a self care list that especially comes in handy when I need to rehabilitate myself. Here are the 15 steps:
1. Live by the 90/10 rule: what we put into our bodies is so essential to our well being. I like to live by the 90/10 rule. I love my French fries, and my ice cream so I don't want to say goodbye to them forever. I just try to have treats in moderation, so by all means indulge in your favourite greasy meals. But for the most part, make sure that you're getting an adequate amount of protein, vegetables and fruits throughout the day.
2. Exercise, exercise, exercise: I cannot stress enough how much we need exercise. It works for your body on so many levels. I try to exercise at least 4-5 times a week, but if you can only do 2-3 times that's perfectly fine. It's a natural energy booster, and it helps to keep you in shape which will only help with your confidence. Also, choosing a form of activity that you enjoy can only help improve your quality of life. Maybe you never knew you were a yogi at heart, or how much you'd love to dance. Get out there and try new things to get your body moving!
3. Hydrate yourself: Get yourself a reusable water bottle and make sure to drink at least 4-5 of them a day. Hydrating yourself is helpful for your skin, your body and your energy.
4. Get fresh air: Go for a walk, find a place to read, or hang out with a friend outside. Get outside at least once a day, the natural air will only do you some good.
5. Make time for friendship: See at least one of your friends or family members every week. Make time for fun and laughter. It reminds you that there's someone out there who loves you just the way you are.
6. Gratitude list: I like to make up a list of at least 3 things per day that I'm thankful for. Even on the hardest of days, I write down basics like warm home, clothes, and good food. If you're not into making lists, then just make a point of listing them off in your head at the end of the day. Remember that there's someone out there who would consider our worst day to be one of their best. There is always at least one thing to be grateful for.
7. Get yourself a diary: Although it's important to see what you have, I think it's also important to let out all of your feelings, the good, bad and the ugly. Writing down how you feel can help you process things and understand yourself better.
8. Read before bed: Stay unplugged from social media at least a half an hour before bed time. I like to do some reading before bed, it tires me out and it helps keep my mind clear before I'm about to sleep.
9. Get enough sleep: You should be sleeping a decent amount of hours at night. Try to get 7-8 hours sleep every night. If you have trouble sleeping you can try exercising or stretching before bed to help tire yourself out.
10. Adapt new relaxation methods: Try meditating or doing some yoga at least once a week. In the beginning it may feel uncomfortable, but you're teaching your body to be present and to breathe through an uncomfortable moment. New and better habits are formed by repetition.
11. Have more tea: Start off your day with a relaxing cup of tea, or end your night with it. Tea has many health benefits and is way better for your body than coffee is.
12. Keep your space clear: My energy and my mood gets completely thrown out of whack if my safe space isn't in great shape. Pick a day of the week to get caught up on cleaning your bedroom, making sure your sheets are clean and that your dishes aren't piled up.
13. Set yourself some goals: Make a list of goals that you want to achieve to remind yourself of the things that you're passionate about. Stick the list in a place that you'll see often, to be a constant reminder. Then start taking your first steps towards your dreams!
14. Budget: Make sure to spend your money wisely. When we're in a tough spot, it can seem tempting to overspend on frivolous things to distract ourselves. You can spend that extra cash on the top that makes you feel beautiful, and the massage that's desperately calling your name. But for the most part, make sure that you're being responsible, it will help you feel so much better about yourself.
15. Be honest: No matter where you are, be honest with yourself and with others. Be true to who you are. If you're feeling blue, you don't have to always paste a smile on your face. No one is perfect. That girl who posts amazing selfies and has a ton of friends? She deals with depression and anxiety too. There is nothing to be ashamed of, embrace all that you are the way you would embrace your best friend. And if you need therapy to help get out your thoughts and emotions or to help understand yourself, I strongly recommend it.
p.s don't forget to ask for help if you need it, you'd be surprised the weight that's lifted off your chest by reaching out.
These are my 15 commandments for taking care of your spirit, mind and body. Hopefully they work for you too!
Be kind to yourselves, xo Jo
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